Friday, September 9, 2011

Managing Pantyhose Compulsion

We often say we're "addicted" to pantyhose but I believe the behavior that most of us pantyhose "addicts" exhibit is really a compulsion towards pantyhose.  Here are the two definitions straight out of Dictionary.com:

Addiction - the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

Compulsion - a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, especially one that is irrational or contrary to one's will.

For me, putting on pantyhose each morning is a ritual act that is a deeply ingrained part of my routine.  If I neglect my pantyhose for a day or two I don't incur severe trauma but I do feel a bit naked without them and I'll wear them on day 3 even if it's 100 degrees out.  This behavior seems to me to be more consistent with compulsion than addiction.

I ran into an online friend the other day for the first time in over a month.  I was beginning to suspect he might be gone forever but eventually I did see him again and even though we didn't have much time to catch up it sure was nice to see him again.  Now you may have friends that disappear now and then.  I know I sometimes disappear myself when my husband indicates I've been investing too much time in one of my pantyhose "projects".  My survey project last year immediately comes to mind, and after I closed that project I think I was absent for a while, probably longer than a month.

My pantyhose compulsion is more than just the daily routine of selecting and putting on a pair of pantyhose.  It extends to my projects like that now defunct survey and my website development at PantyhoseShareClub.net.  These projects are definitely time consuming and I know that can irritate my spouse, but provided there's a positive result like a nice looking, often visited website, the time spent is considered worthwhile.  For others though, like my long lost and now re-found friend, the pantyhose compulsion can become a time sink where hour upon hour are spent engaged in the adoration of pantyhose images or an endless search for the perfect pantyhose picture.  I'm not trying to be judgemental, but I am trying to look at this from the point of view of my friend's spouse.  I suspect there's just not much redeeming positive value she's going to see in that activity.

I suppose I should have suspected something was going on with my friend, after all I hadn't seen him in over a month.  In hindsight I should have been more sensitive to that, but barely a minute into our first conversation in over a month I asked if he'd seen all the changes I've made to the website.  That's when he told me he's been trying to manage his compulsion lately (at the request of his spouse) and he'd not visited the website in a while.  Of course I immediately felt bad for throwing out my inquiry before even asking why he'd not been around lately, but upon hearing his explanation I must say that I deeply respect that he is actively recognizing and managing his pantyhose compulsion.

In as much as I accept the person that I am, pantyhose compulsion and all, I have to also accept, and appreciate, others wanting to be something different than what this compulsion makes of them.  I am dedicated to a pantyhose lifestyle that includes helping others to manage their pantyhose compulsion, and I truly hope my friend finds success as mutually defined by he and his spouse.  I deliberately mention this mutual definition of success because I fear that if defining success is left solely to the non-compulsory partner, success might be defined as total elimination of pantyhose!

Spouses, please listen closely... in my experience this DOES NOT WORK!  Pantyhose addicts are wired for pantyhose, maybe not at birth, but the compulsion develops at an early age, this I've learned through literally hundreds of conversations with others compelled to live (openly or not) the pantyhose lifestyle.  So I urge you to negotiate as partners to gain consensus on a definition of success that includes some element of the lifestyle, perhaps with a time-management aspect, so that success can be viable.

If you are actively managing pantyhose compulsion and are achieving some measure of success in doing so, I would like to hear from you!  Speak up and share your experience with others practicing this lifestyle.  Your contributions will prove valuable to many.

I'm looking forward to sharing more with you soon.

J.

3 comments:

  1. I luv when my wife wears them going to town or excuse me having sex. I luv to see women in the shiny suntan tights/pantyhose I think a lot of women has got lazy and says its mote of a job to me that's just plain lazy it brings more excitement to a relationship

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  2. You're not making it easy to manage mine! But it feels good to indulge, not in wearing pantyhose, but in a community where people talk openly about it. So different from the real world, but so necessary.

    It's harder for a man to explain away a pantyhose compulsion. We can't just say "It's cold in my office so I'm going to wear an extra layer" or "I like how it makes my legs look." Our spouses are less forgiving when men feel the urge to put on a pair of feminizing hose. Male pantyhose are a big help but still seem like a deviation from the norm. It's easier for me because my attraction is to women wearing hose, not to wearing it myself. Still, I feel bottled up a lot of the time because I can't be open about liking something that seems to others to be so mundane.

    I think, when one member of a couple disparages the other for having a pantyhose habit, there's something fundamentally wrong with the relationship that should be addressed. It might be symptomatic of other issues or perhaps a dealbreaker in its own right. I would advise someone in this situation to take a hard look at whether he could actually stop, cold turkey, just to suit his wife's ideal of how a man should behave. (And will this be the end of her complaints?)

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  3. Just say: "Hey honey, are my legs better than yours? " Maybe, she might say but I wouldn't wear them to work. At home I can handle though.

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Thanks for your comment. I will reply soon!

J.