Sunday, May 5, 2013

Pantyhose Mystery

Do you embrace the mystery or are you tormented by it?  If you are compulsively addicted to pantyhose then you know the mystery I am referring to.  We all ask ourselves the question "why am I like this?" and few of us have answers.  We recognize in ourselves that compulsive behavior which sets us apart from the general population, and we now have a place in Pantyhose Share Club where we can congregate and identify with others that also recognize this behavior in themselves.

I'm often asked if I understand the reason why we are like this, and I frequently regret that I don't have any answers.  I've dedicated the past few years to developing the club concept and the web space we now call our "pantyhose home", and I've dedicated a fair portion of my life over the past couple of decades to seeking a deeper understanding of pantyhose addiction within myself and others.  I have learned that an introspective nature is a key characteristic often exhibited by those living the pantyhose lifestyle.  I am grateful for that.  I've also learned that lacking answers, many of our peers turn to drastic measures of abstinence and self denial attempting to rid themselves of behaviors that most, in or out of fetish circles, would label an extremely mild fetish. 

There's nothing wrong with trying to turn your life around; if you smoke - try to quit, if you ignore your children - try to be a better parent, but it is mentally grueling to try and fail.  In my experience, repeatedly trying and failing to abstain from pantyhose is a vicious cycle that many introspective, well-intentioned pantyhose lovers fall into.  The binge and purge merry-go-round - abstinence leading to desire and indulgence leading to guilt - traps many who live this lifestyle.  If only we could understand why we are like this, perhaps we could develop strategies that are more effective?

I've just begun my 5th decade living the pantyhose lifestyle and I still do not have any clue why I am like this.  I have no answers, but I can offer a simple strategy and I believe it is effective.  The old saying goes, hold your friends close and hold your enemies closer.  If you are struggling with your pantyhose lifestyle and tormented by not understanding why you are "different", embracing the mystery can help.  Acceptance of self is a necessary first before we can accept others, and accepting your pantyhose fetish as a part of who you are without knowing why is key to moving into a richer more fulfilling phase of your life.  I know this because I've lived it and I share it with you because I accept you for who you are, complete with all your faults and fetishes.

Embrace the mystery of your pantyhose lifestyle and improve your life in the process!

I'm looking forward to sharing more with you soon.

J.

9 comments:

  1. Very we;; stated for I feel the same way almost word per word i.ve taken acceptance for who i am and the way i feel but still very secretive to let others know what I'm truely like and i only have one friend, a woman who knows of my fetish subsequent addiction of my wearing pantyhose and other female garments and she's very supportive about it, we been friends for more than 20 years and it really took a load of guilt off me when i decided to tell her and a lot of courage to reveal it also. thanks for the posting all for now.

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  2. Almostnaked,

    I'm pleased to hear that you've grown to accept your pantyhose compulsion and open up to others to relieve some of the guilt you've harbored over it. Opening up to friends and family members is not an option for some, but that does not mean you must carry guilt with you your entire life. Engaging new friends within our community will create a new circle within which you might feel secure and protected from judgement. Opening up to others within this environment affords the same opportunity to shed the guilt and shame of the addiction so you might enrich your life by embracing the lifestyle.

    Thanks for your comment and thanks for being a part of Pantyhose Share Club!

    J.

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  3. Hello "J.",
    I'm inclined to infer from your last post that you may not really be a "gurl". Otherwise, why use such words as "addiction" or asking "why we are like this" referring to pantyhose? What would be the problem about pantyhose with a woman? Women usually wear pantyhose and/or stockings, some of them don't, but none would call wearing them an "addiction" or think of those who wear them as "different".
    I must say I'm a little disappointed, but not totally suprised, that this remarkable website is probably not run by a true hosiery-"addicted" woman (I've met a few in my long life), but I will nevertheless keep visiting it and posting on it.

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  4. Victor,

    First, let me apologize for the delay in getting your comment out of moderation and posted here. It's very frustrating that Google does not notify me when there is a comment awaiting moderation, but I post all comments whether they require moderation first or not.

    When I write here I write for and about the community, not for and about myself. I identify with this community like no other group I've ever been a part of, and it pains me to think you question my gender simply due to the terminology I've adopted. In fact, since starting Pantyhose Share Club I've gravitated to a new term - Pantyhose Lifestyle - to more aptly describe the preferred tastes and habitual behaviors expressed by most that are a part of our community.

    It's true, I have often asked myself "why am I like this" and I think the same is true for many others within our community. In my case though, the question extends to a broader sense of my obsessive-compulsive behavior of which daily pantyhose wear is just one outwardly visible indicator. One point I've tried to make in this post and often cite in many of my blog posts is, this lifestyle transcends boundaries including the gender boundary. It was this realization some years ago, after many years of examining the addiction in others (primarily men), that I finally began to feel that I was a part of your community - OUR community.

    I fully recognize that the online world is full of disingenuous people. I am not one of them. I suspect you have been questioning my gender long before now so there is probably little I can say here to sway your opinion. I am sorry you're disappointed but pleased you'll remain an active member of our community.

    You're correct, by the way, I'm not a "gurl". I'm a woman.

    Thanks for your comment and thanks for being a part of Pantyhose Share Club!

    J.

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  5. Thank you for your answer.
    I know Americans to hold idiosyncratic views about sexuality, gender and the like. It's also true that femininity is not something most American women are comfortable with. Still, it's hard for me, as a French, to believe that even an American woman would consider wearing hosiery an "addiction". After all, Victoria's Secret stores - though the lingerie sold there is terrible, according to a French female friend living in the U.S. - look to be doing well in malls.
    But who knows? Puritanism has so strange ways to get control of people's inner lives!
    Best,
    Victor

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  6. I just love it J that you keep this introspective discussion going! You have created a fantastic community where I feel like I can share something I have never done anywhere else. I went back into therapy several months ago after I "came out" to my wife about my fetish. It was affecting our marriage so this was a good step, but I discovered something so interesting, that my pantyhose fetish is tied up with my creative and artistic side. Once I got past someone else's judgement and my guilt, I could accept pantyhose, dancewear, great heels, etc. for what they were in my life, something I enjoy in an artistic way, like someone would appreciate a great painting. I did have to honor my wife's feelings not to include my fetish in our sex life, but we have a great life together so, while it is a challenge, it is not something worth ending a relationship over. So I have my stash of Platinos, Wolfords, Oroblus, some great heels, and a few other items and I "indulge" when I have the time and privacy. I can do this without guilt, knowing that it is a normal part of my psyche even though others might not feel the same. In fact, while I write this I am wearing a pair of Cecilia De Rafael Atomos tights and a Platino bodysuit. It feels great to be tightly held, I look great to myself, the Platino bodysuit smells great (nice touch Platino!), and I am hurting no one. Thank you for creating a community of self acceptance!

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  7. Paul,

    Thank you for your kind words. I am so pleased to hear that this club is having a profound impact on your life. It's funny, but I really wanted to create this space for me, a place to express myself in my own way. It's so nice to realize that it's allowing so many others to express themselves too and benefit in the process.

    Thanks for being here, Paul, I truly value your participation and friendship.

    J.

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  8. Your website is so very informative and allows us to openly express the freedom of expression of the pantyhose wearing public. The right of all the wear our favorite things is only fair. I feel very good about this forum and plan to contriibute generously monthly.

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  9. As I said two pairs work okay to support my legs, but the panty part is a tight on everything between the end of my inseam to just below my navel.
    I guess my like for a good pair of pantyhose goes back to kindergarten when I sat at the feet of my teacher. We all sat Indian style on a carpet in the classroom floor. She always wore stockings (I am pretty sure that pantyhose were still a year or two away. I remember my mom wore stockings all the time. I remember her complaining about sitting on the buckle or whatever it is called. She was glad when pantyhose came out.
    I used to hide in the bathroom and try them on, unfortunately they were way too big so I did not get the sensation until I was older and moms ph fit better. She also baught the high fashion stockings which I tried on as well. Those really felt nice. Only I did not like the fact that they silk and nylon, i.e. no spandex. They did not cling to your legs (keep in mind that this was about 1964).
    Women's fashions have come a long way since then. Whenever mom would leave the house for any length of time, I was in her bedroom trying on her ph and her heels, which I was a little surprised fit pretty well. It's not that I want to be a woman, I just appreciate the ph and the way they feel. Now I wear them for health reasons. I am okay with that. Societal norms need to make room for guys that are outside the stereotype of what society says is normally acceptable.
    Likewise, women need to realize that wearing pantyhose is an outward notice that I care about my appearance. Call me old fashioned, but I still think that a woman's office attire should include pantyhose, maybe not always a dress but she should not look she clubbing (no ph, short; ... you fill in the blank, an heels that are so high that it would take two mice standing top of each other to reach the top of the heel. Not good office attire. But I digress.
    My wife seems to be handling it well. She is always suggesting that I try some socks with copper in them. I hope that they help.
    I have decided to order some medical grade support hose. There are a couple of websites that sell recognized brands and their products are available in normal fashion colors.
    I know very little about the everyday wearing of ph. When I first started wearing pantyhose it felt like they were coming down. I thought that women have shaved legs, maybe that will help (do not fall off your chair laughing ��). Nope, but I did notice that after a while I would get a rash of some kind. It would itch like crazy. I treated the symptoms with anti-itch lotion and some topical low dose steroid cream. It goes away, but I would like to know if I should be washing them in a special way or soap or something...

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Thanks for your comment. I will reply soon!

J.